The Best Five Things About Celebrating Halloween
I must confess that I haven't really celebrated Halloween in a while. I have fond memories of it, but that is what they are: Memories. So this post is perhaps an attempt to get into the Halloween spirit. Am I too early with it? I don't know. I know Christmas stuff starts earlier every year, so why not Halloween? Halloween is, after all, the king of all Holidays -- and I say this as someone who was born on Thanksgiving. (I must say: Sorry, Martin Luthor King Day, but until people start giving out free candy and dressing up like zombies and pirates to celebrate your dream, your holiday will not be #1).
Okay, so the best five things about Halloween?
5. The Games and Activities
For whatever reason, I remember doing the whole bobbing for apples thing, and I only remember doing that once. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed that. It was simple yet effective, and easy to set up. But a much simpler aspect of Halloween is watching horror movies or Halloween themed TV shows with your buddies (if you have any of those) and/or your family (if you have one of those), along with snacks.
Maybe you're more into it and you have a haunted house and costume contest. You can tell ghost stories, too. I want to say this much: If you have a haunted house/Halloween party, please don't blast some cheesy dance/pop music. Play some music worthy of Halloween, like Penderecki's "Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima," or something else relatively Halloween-like, like the Rosemary's Baby Soundtrack or some of John Carpenter's kick ass synthesizer music.
And let's face it: Halloween is also a time for pranks and mischief. Some terrorists probably go out and TP people's houses if they don't provide adequate treats, which I guess is an activity. Also, smashing pumpkins isn't just a band. While that's mostly pointless and quite frowned upon, it can be an adequate expression of angst, I suppose, and relatively harmless.
4. The Costumes
Though just mentioned in "Games and Activities," Halloween costumes deserve special recognition. Halloween is the one day you can dress up in weird and disturbing ways without most people finding it weird or disturbing. That alone is pretty awesome. It also makes me wish more days were like that. Most people are way too uptight. The Halloween costume is one of the few occasions when everyone is encouraged to be a little freaky. While I prefer scary costumes, some will just dress in a silly way, which has its own merits. Also, let's face it, plenty of women choose to dress up "sexy" for Halloween (to put it diplomatically), which many men certainly enjoy. However, if I were female, I wouldn't go that route. Not only is it catering to a stereotype and possibly attracting attention from perverts, but ladies might as well go the scary route, or the funny route. Halloween is not a time where anyone needs to look pretty nor "hot", so go ahead and take advantage of that, regardless of gender. Whether you prefer masks, makeup or some clever idea, it's your time to shine on, you crazy diamond.
3. Pumpkins and Decorations
Pumpkin carving is a time honored tradition. Though I was never very good at it, I still enjoyed it. And you know what? Pumpkin pie is also great, if you ask me. And what would Halloween be without some decorations? Granted, if you live in a creepy looking old house you don't need 'em. But if you're in some pristine looking house, you'd better slap on some decorations to look less boring for about a month. You can use all kinds of props, and possibly make your own if you're creative. I'm not Martha Stewart so I'm not going to go into detail. Just be creative and try to make your place actually scary. Now that's a challenge.
2. Trick or Treating
I was a pretty good kid overall, so I didn't do a lot of the tricking part, but I definitely tried to get as many treats as possible. I don't live in a crazy city, so I never had to worry that much about lunatucs while our Trick or Treating. For for me it was an overwhelmingly positive experience. But who hasn't heard the warnings about razor blades in candy bars? Still, I saw that as worth the risk, and it kind of made me feel edgier, like I was out there dodging razor-studded Snickers bullets with every new bite. In my experience, trick or treating was also a time for older kids to step in and act as guides for their siblings, and the parents would tend to stay at home. I know some people freak out about that, but going out at night with just teenagers and kids wasn't a bad experience. My favorite houses were those that gave me unique things, like caramel popcorn balls. Some kids might object to getting things like apples, but I like apples, so go ahead and throw that in the bag. Obviously, costumes are another big part of trick or treating, but you already know that.
Now, permit me to editorialize a bit:
I regret that trick or treating has changed a bit over the years where I live. Instead of going house to house, a lot of kids jut patronize local businesses. It's almost symbolic of America losing its way, where people want to rely more on crappy businesses than getting to know their actual neighborhoods.
Also, for whatever reason, this event (called "treat street") usually doesn't even happen on Halloween, which is kind of strange. If you're going to have trick or treating only once a year, why not just keep it on Halloween? Who cares if it might be a school night? It's frickin' Halloween! Also, the event closes down streets, so traffic has to be diverted. It's a bit of a nightmare.
On a different note: I wish trick or treating was for grownups, and that it happened at other times of the year, too. Maybe it doesn't have to be every day, or even every week, but why not have it occur once a month?
1. Eating The Damn Candy
I know I mentioned this already, but it sort of deserves a place of its own. There are many aspects of Halloween I could have mentioned, such as the history of Halloween and how it might be actually interesting. But I must confess I never cared much about the history of Halloween, or All Hallows' Eve, or whatever else one wants to call it. At the end of the day, what I mostly wanted was candy -- cavity producing, child-fattening candy. And there's no need to apologize for it. If you do a good job trick or treating, you've earned what you've got -- and it should last you about a week, at least. This is one of the American traditions I never felt guilty about. Even though candy corporations are probably as evil as hell, I never cared about that as a kid. In fact, I still don't care about it regarding Halloween. On this topic I become basically apolitical, and also asocial. Don't bother kids when they're eating their candy. Don't try to be cute and sneak away with some of their candy, either. You're an adult. If you want candy, go buy your own. And if your kids run around because they're high on sugar, I'm sorry, but you just let them do it. Again, they've earned that candy. Here's the payoff for the parents: If your kids ask you why there isn't a kid's day, just remind them of Halloween. This should shut them up and remind them of the awesome time they had, so it's a win-win. Then you can the little shits about things like their birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and the other occasions where kids get presents and/or candy. Oh, and let's see kids try to cook their own dinners every day.
Okay, so the best five things about Halloween?
5. The Games and Activities
For whatever reason, I remember doing the whole bobbing for apples thing, and I only remember doing that once. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed that. It was simple yet effective, and easy to set up. But a much simpler aspect of Halloween is watching horror movies or Halloween themed TV shows with your buddies (if you have any of those) and/or your family (if you have one of those), along with snacks.
Maybe you're more into it and you have a haunted house and costume contest. You can tell ghost stories, too. I want to say this much: If you have a haunted house/Halloween party, please don't blast some cheesy dance/pop music. Play some music worthy of Halloween, like Penderecki's "Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima," or something else relatively Halloween-like, like the Rosemary's Baby Soundtrack or some of John Carpenter's kick ass synthesizer music.
And let's face it: Halloween is also a time for pranks and mischief. Some terrorists probably go out and TP people's houses if they don't provide adequate treats, which I guess is an activity. Also, smashing pumpkins isn't just a band. While that's mostly pointless and quite frowned upon, it can be an adequate expression of angst, I suppose, and relatively harmless.
4. The Costumes
Though just mentioned in "Games and Activities," Halloween costumes deserve special recognition. Halloween is the one day you can dress up in weird and disturbing ways without most people finding it weird or disturbing. That alone is pretty awesome. It also makes me wish more days were like that. Most people are way too uptight. The Halloween costume is one of the few occasions when everyone is encouraged to be a little freaky. While I prefer scary costumes, some will just dress in a silly way, which has its own merits. Also, let's face it, plenty of women choose to dress up "sexy" for Halloween (to put it diplomatically), which many men certainly enjoy. However, if I were female, I wouldn't go that route. Not only is it catering to a stereotype and possibly attracting attention from perverts, but ladies might as well go the scary route, or the funny route. Halloween is not a time where anyone needs to look pretty nor "hot", so go ahead and take advantage of that, regardless of gender. Whether you prefer masks, makeup or some clever idea, it's your time to shine on, you crazy diamond.
3. Pumpkins and Decorations
Pumpkin carving is a time honored tradition. Though I was never very good at it, I still enjoyed it. And you know what? Pumpkin pie is also great, if you ask me. And what would Halloween be without some decorations? Granted, if you live in a creepy looking old house you don't need 'em. But if you're in some pristine looking house, you'd better slap on some decorations to look less boring for about a month. You can use all kinds of props, and possibly make your own if you're creative. I'm not Martha Stewart so I'm not going to go into detail. Just be creative and try to make your place actually scary. Now that's a challenge.
2. Trick or Treating
I was a pretty good kid overall, so I didn't do a lot of the tricking part, but I definitely tried to get as many treats as possible. I don't live in a crazy city, so I never had to worry that much about lunatucs while our Trick or Treating. For for me it was an overwhelmingly positive experience. But who hasn't heard the warnings about razor blades in candy bars? Still, I saw that as worth the risk, and it kind of made me feel edgier, like I was out there dodging razor-studded Snickers bullets with every new bite. In my experience, trick or treating was also a time for older kids to step in and act as guides for their siblings, and the parents would tend to stay at home. I know some people freak out about that, but going out at night with just teenagers and kids wasn't a bad experience. My favorite houses were those that gave me unique things, like caramel popcorn balls. Some kids might object to getting things like apples, but I like apples, so go ahead and throw that in the bag. Obviously, costumes are another big part of trick or treating, but you already know that.
Now, permit me to editorialize a bit:
I regret that trick or treating has changed a bit over the years where I live. Instead of going house to house, a lot of kids jut patronize local businesses. It's almost symbolic of America losing its way, where people want to rely more on crappy businesses than getting to know their actual neighborhoods.
Also, for whatever reason, this event (called "treat street") usually doesn't even happen on Halloween, which is kind of strange. If you're going to have trick or treating only once a year, why not just keep it on Halloween? Who cares if it might be a school night? It's frickin' Halloween! Also, the event closes down streets, so traffic has to be diverted. It's a bit of a nightmare.
On a different note: I wish trick or treating was for grownups, and that it happened at other times of the year, too. Maybe it doesn't have to be every day, or even every week, but why not have it occur once a month?
1. Eating The Damn Candy
I know I mentioned this already, but it sort of deserves a place of its own. There are many aspects of Halloween I could have mentioned, such as the history of Halloween and how it might be actually interesting. But I must confess I never cared much about the history of Halloween, or All Hallows' Eve, or whatever else one wants to call it. At the end of the day, what I mostly wanted was candy -- cavity producing, child-fattening candy. And there's no need to apologize for it. If you do a good job trick or treating, you've earned what you've got -- and it should last you about a week, at least. This is one of the American traditions I never felt guilty about. Even though candy corporations are probably as evil as hell, I never cared about that as a kid. In fact, I still don't care about it regarding Halloween. On this topic I become basically apolitical, and also asocial. Don't bother kids when they're eating their candy. Don't try to be cute and sneak away with some of their candy, either. You're an adult. If you want candy, go buy your own. And if your kids run around because they're high on sugar, I'm sorry, but you just let them do it. Again, they've earned that candy. Here's the payoff for the parents: If your kids ask you why there isn't a kid's day, just remind them of Halloween. This should shut them up and remind them of the awesome time they had, so it's a win-win. Then you can the little shits about things like their birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and the other occasions where kids get presents and/or candy. Oh, and let's see kids try to cook their own dinners every day.
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